Joseph, NO!
by TheAnimeWriterLover
Summary: Joseph tries to do something sweet, but it quickly turns into a bad idea. Smoky tries to stop him. Caesar is ready to wring his boyfriend's neck. (Modern AU)


**_Idea:_** Joseph has a bad idea. AKA, try fixing Caesar's beloved car, without him knowing. Smoky tries to stop him. Caesar is ready to wring his neck.

Author Note: A challenge from a Facebook group that I'm in, where someone does something bad. I simply thought of Joseph and knew that anything stupid he does equals bad. Enjoy the craziness!

There were many things that you did not mess around with in an individual's life. It could be anything from items, to careers, romance, hobbies, or even families. These rules did not necessarily need to be spoken, but they were there for a reason. If you did mess with whatever it was, the individual can do something simple, like being mad and not talk to you. They could also go to the extreme end, which can vary between people and their abilities in bringing Hell up to Earth.

Bottomline, do not mess with a person's life. Period.

"Jojo, you shouldn't do this."

"Shush"

Unfortunately, not everyone got the memo.

"Let me paraphrase this. Jojo, you _can't_ do this."

The speaker, Smokey, clarified to his giant friend. The two young adults stood outside in the slight cold weather. Summer was long gone by now, only to be replaced with autumn. The trees have mostly let go of their leaf's, which left them ready for winter. The wind blew in gently, as it brought the cold air from the north. The men barely registered it, having been used to a much colder climate all their lives. Of course, they still somewhat dressed for the weather, but still. It _was_ a rather dreary day, with the sky covered by grey clouds as well.

Everyone on the street had the right idea to stay indoors, but not these two. Oh no, Smokey and Joseph Joestar, also known as Jojo, had other ideas. Well, Joseph did, anyways. His black friend was not pleased about the situation, at all. He knew one other individual that would be _more_ than displeased.

You see, Joseph's boyfriend, Caesar, was back in Italy to visit his siblings. He wouldn't be back for at least a week. Before he left, he instructed their friend Smokey to not let Joseph do anything stupid. Unfortunately, within the _day_ that he left, the line of stupid has been crossed to _B-A-D_. _BAD_.

"I'm just trying to fix this stupid thing."

The brown headed man boomed, with his fists resting on his hips. His green eyes glared down at the car in front of him. This car was Caesar's greatest treasure. An Alfa Romeo 6C 2500 Freccia d'Oro 1946, to be specific. The Italian blonde brought it with him from Italy, when he moved to America with Joseph and his family. It was a car that was from his father, who got it from his father. Neither men were alive, plus with Caesar's love for family and family lineage, this car might as well be his baby.

When going into this relationship, Joseph knew the deal. He didn't just date the Italian, but he also dated the car. Something that secretly revolted him, but he tried not to make any comments about the damn thing around his beloved.

Though, the familiar feeling of annoyance bubbled in his chest, the longer he stared at the old thing.

From first glance, anyone could tell that it was well used. The once deep red colour has long sense dulled. Nothing short of full on car spray paint could fix that. Though, Caesar was completely against it. He didn't want to pay money for something that would fade away in the future anyways. It spoke of its character, he said. He has taken care of its appearance, though, which made it shine, despite the colour's poor state. The wheels were long changed from their original to ones more modern. Ones that could deal with possible snow on the roads. The whole front metal parts, with the inclusion of the lights, were shiny. Even under the lack of sun. Inside, the seats were a bit stained, but incredibly comfortable. Not even Joseph could argue with that. Though, the space was a whole other matter, as it barely allowed two incredibly muscular men to fit comfortably at the front.

It was well loved, and even Joseph didn't deny that.

"Do you even _know_ how to fix a car?"

Dark eyes burned holes into the back of the other's head. Joseph felt it but decided to ignore it. He paused for a moment, before a mutter escaped him.

"No…"

"Then take it to the professionals. Or, better yet, don't touch it."

"But what if they damage it even further? They might not even give it back in time, before Caesar returns! I want it to be a surprise for him."

No matter his personal beef with an inanimate object, he really loved his boyfriend. He has noticed the blonde has grown frustrated and slightly depressed as well. Neither of the two had the time to take the car in for proper maintenance. They were far too busy with work or other more important matters. The car was only used on special occasions, so its issues weren't the most urgent things to fix on their long list. This was the first weekend that Joseph has the time to relax, but instead he was outside, ready to fix the stupid thing. The things he did for his loved ones.

Unfortunately, a famous trait of his was his stubbornness. Something that his dark-skinned friend knew all too well of. If the British man didn't want to bring the car in to professionals and do this himself, _he was going to do it_,_ damnit_.

Smokey began to look around for something big enough to knock the giant out. How he'd drag his sorry ass back into the house, he would figure out later. Unfortunately, all he saw were the mountain of dead leafs. That, and the big toolbox next to Joseph's right foot. Perhaps, if he was sneaky enough, he could grab it. With enough momentum, it _should_ do some damage. Hopefully, not enough for it to be permanent. Ideally, as stated before, just enough to knock him out.

It would be better to call Caesar and get him to talk his boyfriend out of this, but he only got onto the plane a few hours ago. No phone services.

Why did Caesar have to leave _him_ in charge of Joseph?

"How do you even know it needs to be fixed?"

Smokey tried again, as he slowly inched towards the toolbox. He kneeled to grab it, before his back straightened with a snap when his friend turned to face him. A frown marred his face. His thick, dark eyebrows knitted together in frustration. This made the dark-skinned friend pause. Even though the other was quite an expressive character, it was hard to read his mind. Of course, he knew quite well of his friend's distaste for the car. He was the only one to know about it. But was there more to this than his friend told him?

"Well… it makes this weirdest sound. A knocking, of sort."

"A knocking…"

Smokey repeated with a low, slow tone. He either took the train or bus to get around the city, so he didn't really have a lot of experiences with cars himself. So, this sounded a bit weird to him. Joseph nodded fast, which made his long bangs bounced with the movements. His green eyes light with determination. When he saw that, Smokey felt like his stomach hit the floor with horror.

Oh no, he was too late. He had to fix this, _fast_.

"All you got going for you is a knocking sound. Do you even know what that means?"

"Um… I Googled it, and it said that it could be a few different things."

Joseph shrugged, which made his friend facepalm.

"You don't know what it is, you _Googled_ it, _still_ don't know what it is, and you want to fix it?"

Smokey stretched out each fact, which sounded as crazy as the last. All of it flew over his friend's head. The green-eyed man pulled out his cell phone and started messing around with it.

"I'll look on Youtube for help."

The younger man wanted to cry, badly. He loved his friend dearly, but sometimes the ideas he came up with made him want to die! At this point, he grabbed onto Joseph's jacket in tight fists to pull him down to his level. It was only due to Joseph's relaxed state that allowed for Smokey to succeed.

"Jojo, _no_, do you hear me? You cannot Google and Youtube to try fix something that you don't know or understand. I will not let Caesar kill you, if your plan doesn't get you killed first."

Joseph blinked at him a few times before a deep chuckle left him. His lips twisted up into a familiar, mischievous look.

"Smokey, you're worrying too much. Trust me. Everybody does this, and they manage to fix their problems. Caesar will be happy to come home to his stupid, but fixed, car."

He winked at him as he spoke.

Those words have sealed his fate. Nobody can argue that Smokey didn't try to save his poor soul.

-ooOOoo-

"Um… it looks like my plan didn't work."

Joseph laughed awkwardly as he watched the car get towed away. Better yet, what was left of it.

The once proud, and somewhat ancient, car, was no more. Instead, there was a smoked, black and ruined piece of metal being taken away. Smokey buried his face into his hands and groaned loudly. He couldn't even look. He didn't even know how it was possible to go from point A to whatever point this was. They never found the source of the problem, because his stupid friend tore the whole car apart to find it. At some point, he managed to make something spark and start a fire. Before they could do something about it, the fire spread from the front to the interior of the car. The fire department was called and put the fire out, lectured the two young men, then had the ruined car towed away. The neighbours came out to see what happened, only to shake their heads at the sight.

Smokey wanted to scream '_no shit Sherlock!_', but his soul was too crushed for it. It didn't help that he knew that Joseph was, most likely, wearing his kicked puppy dog face.

"I'm going to die, aren't I?"

With a grunt as an answer, a whimper responded to the news.

-ooOOoo-

A week has passed, and Caesar was back home.

It was great being with his siblings again, after so long. But he would be the first to admit to wanting to be where his heart belonged, as cliché as it sounded. In his mind, he envisioned coming back, Joseph greeting him with a huge smile, a strong hug and a deep kiss. The familiar smell of the house, with a strong scent of dark coffee and herbs. The small backyard that he could sit in for hours, with nothing but a book in hand, and nature to listen to. That, or whatever craziness Joseph got up to. Perhaps he could finally call a professional to look at his car.

As much as the Italian loved his British lover, that was something that he hoped hasn't happened. The _Jojo-Madness_, as he labeled it. Surely, with Smokey having kept an eye on him, nothing happened.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Something was off, he felt it, the minute that he got out of the taxi. It didn't really click right away. He looked critically with a pair of green eyes at the scenery, while he paid the driver and got his luggage.

The house was still standing. The leaf's that were in a pile, were now nowhere to be seen. Presumably, thrown away. The trees looked the same, just barer. Everything looked the same, aside from the leaf detail. So, what was off? His eyes narrowed with suspicion. His _Jojo-Madness_ detector went off. This was the exact moment when he finally realized what was wrong.

His car was gone.

Where. Was. His. Car?

No, there was no way that Joseph did anything to it. He wouldn't be stupid enough? Right? **_Right?!_** This didn't make him feel any better. If anything, his anger slowly made its way to the surface. Okay, ask questions first, _then_ maim his soon-to-be-dead-boyfriend if he did anything. Yes, that was a good plan. Caesar grabbed his luggage, straightened his back and walked up to the house. Trying to act the exact opposite of what he felt on the inside. A light hum left him, as he grabbed his house keys. His hands shook ever so slightly, as they jammed the tiny piece of metal into the keyhole, turned and got inside.

The house was quiet. Dead quiet. Something that wouldn't be of any notice, if it wasn't for the fact that it was the weekend and he knew that Joseph was home right now. Or, at least he should be, unless he ran off to hide. If he did, then that meant that he was right. His green eyes scanned the entrance way, which appeared cleaner than usual. Not a speck of dust in sight. The side closet that was full of coats and shoes, was organized, for once. After he took his shoes off and put them away, Caesar stalked through the rooms. Each of them was as clean as the last.

Still, no sight of Jojo.

"Jojo, I'm home."

The Italian announced loud enough to echo through the two-storey house. There was a thud, and a rush of footsteps. It sounded like a thunder of elephants ran down the stairs, with the speed of a dog. No sooner than he announced his arrival, that he got almost tackled to the ground by his bigger boyfriend. It knocked the air out of his lungs, which made him gasp loudly. When his eyes turned to meet his significant other's, he got greeted by a mix respond. There was clear happiness on Joseph's face, which made him light up like the sun. Something that always made Caesar's heart race. However, his eyes shone with a different message. Worry. Anxiousness.

"Caesar, you're home!"

The giant 6'5'' man boomed. He nuzzled his nose against his lover's cheek, before leaning in for a kiss. The blonde forgot momentarily about his previous anger. All he cared about now was to enjoy this moment. With his arms trapped in the deathly tight hug, all he could really do was kiss back. It was almost as he imagined, which made his inner sappy romantic self quite happy. His hands gripped onto the sides of the other's light-coloured, but tight, sweater. They stayed like that for only a few moments. When they pulled away, Joseph buried his nose in the other's neck. The Italian's hands let go of the sweater, before they moved around the waist and gripped each other.

"Jojo-"

"I really missed you."

The said man whined a bit. His lips curled downwards with a pout, which could be felt against the skin.

"I missed you too, but Jojo-"

"How was Italy? Did you enjoy your time? It sucks ass that we couldn't really talk over Skype, with the time differences and me working."

Caesar felt his left eyebrow twitched. At this point, he started to growl. His body tried to wiggle itself out of the death hug.

"_Joseph_, I'm trying to ask you something."

Joseph froze. Not even a breath tickled against Caesar's skin. The Italian's green eyes narrowed, with fire burning behind them. This once more ignited the anger at the possibility that his lover was the one behind his beloved car's disappearance. The taller man let go of his partner to lean back. His frame shifted onto his right foot, with his arms crossed over his chest. His face appeared calm, but the same worry and, now, anxiousness were in his eyes.

"What is it?"

Smooth skin pulled back to bare white, straight teeth. A hiss escaped through them.

"Where is my car?"

Joseph gulped visibly at the question. His body tensed up, as it began to lean further away. A nervous laughter escaped the younger man.

"Um… you see… about that. The funniest thing happened."

Why the hell did he say this? He swore that he just saw the grim ripper appear before him. If it was possible, it may have taken over his boyfriend, because he somehow began to tower over him. In reality, he continued to lean backwards, with Caesar leaning forward. The scowl turned into a sweet smile, which held such deep darkness that promised many things.

"Oh really? Humour me."

"I decided to try and fix your car." Joseph began to mumble. The only thing that passed through the frozen Caesar was _oh shit_. "But something happened, and it got… well…" A cough, while rubbing the back of his thick neck. "burned really badly. It got towed away."

Seconds went by. Caesar inhaled sharply. It felt like someone punched him in the head hard, as a strong headache formed. The anger from before grew by tenfold, but he gave himself credit that he didn't blew up. Yet.

"You. What?"

Okay, maybe not. The hiss was so hard that there may as well be steam coming out of it. His hands inched towards his boyfriend's neck, ready to strangle him to death. Screw the consequences. Didn't he ask Smokey to not let Joseph do anything remotely stupid?

"I'm sorry!" Joseph squeaked out. His hands held up, with palms facing the other. He began to move backwards, ready to make a run for it. "I-I-I know how annoyed and sad you've been over the problems and us not having the time to get it fixed. I wanted to surprise you, when you got back. But everything happened so fast, and before I knew it the fire truck came, and they had it taken away."

The tall man spilled everything out, with an uncharacteristic stutter. Even though he hated the damn thing, he felt deep guilt about what happened. The dark headed man realized, after he screwed up, that he should have listened to Smokey. He thought about perhaps getting the car fixed by a professional, but the damage was so severe that it was impossible. The mere thought of buying a new one was out of the question. It held no significance nor family ties to his boyfriend, so it was only a waste of money.

Caesar was ready to bounce on his boyfriend, but the explanation made him pause. He studied the man in front of him. The other was an idiot at the best of times, but he didn't do this sort of thing for shit and giggles. This was something that he tended to do for anyone and everyone that he cared about. If they were struggling or were sad, his good nature jumped in to help them. Even if it made things worse in the end, it was the thought that counted. It was one of those things that made Caesar love that fool, more than he should.

Still, there was a large part of him that was still extremely pissed off. It wasn't like there weren't other things that didn't hold the same significance and importance to him. It didn't even matter that he used it less and less as the years went by. Especially with the newer and better cars being designed out there. Ones that, even he would admit, were superior to the car that he inherited. But this car held a lot of memories. Ones of him and his siblings trying to stuff themselves in the backseats, eager to go on family trips. Their father would always chuckle with that fond smile, before moving in to calm them before shit hit the fan. There were even some memories of his mother, before she died, so long ago. She would always seat in the passenger's seat. She'd hum along with the old radio, no matter to what song. Her beautiful laugh that rang through the car, at some antics that he and his siblings were up to. With a light scolding for making a scene.

Caesar's heart felt heavy. He didn't know how to react right now. He still had the memories, which were the most precious things to him. But the _car_…

The longer he looked at the nervous Joseph, the more his anger subdued. What was the point? What was done, was done. It was all in the past and there was nothing that they could do about it now. There was no point in beating his boyfriend up, when all he really wanted to do was try and help.

A heavy sigh escaped him, as his shoulders heaved down. The Italian moved forward a few steps, to get closer to his boyfriend. Joseph's body tensed at the movement. A flinch escaped him when his face was gently grabbed in a pair of strong hands. His eyes looked down into his lover's, with a nervous look. They soon widened in shock when the blonde planted a small kiss on his lips.

"You're forgiven, but I don't want you to do anything like this, ever again. Do you understand, _amore_?"

Caesar spoke with dead seriousness. His eyes narrowed with warning. Joseph let out a breath that he didn't know that he held onto. A chuckle soon followed, with a sheepish smile.

"Yeah, gotcha. You can count on me, babe."

Another glare. Another, but weaker, chuckle.

"Okay… I'll stop now."

Caesar knew that it was only a matter of time before Joseph got himself into trouble, again. But he loved this idiot, so what can he do about it?


End file.
